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Published on April 3rd, 2018 | by Admin

18 Things Women Do In Movies During Sex That Are Totally Unrealistic

Require zero foreplay to get things going and have an orgasm, like, instantly.

Girl, why you got that bra on still???

Require zero foreplay to get things going and have an orgasm, like, instantly.

In real life, kissing for 45 seconds is fun and all, but it usually takes a littttttle more than that, ya know?

20th Century Fox

And then have instantaneous, penetrative sex without lube.

And then have instantaneous, penetrative sex without lube.

I’m not sure when the saliva-as-lube thing became “sexy,” but lube would be a heck of a lot easier and you don’t have to worry about bacteria and viral particles — lube is your friend!

Columbia Pictures

Moan for the ENTIRE time — from the second their partner touches them.

Moan for the ENTIRE time — from the second their partner touches them.

No one’s partner is actually a superhero/sex-god who can make you orgasm just from touching your knee.

20th Century Fox

Have on cute, matching, and (probably) very expensive lingerie…just so they can look like a “gift” for some dude.

Have on cute, matching, and (probably) very expensive lingerie...just so they can look like a "gift" for some dude.

We can actually look really sexy in things other than frilly lingerie…and, heck, even nothing at all.

Paramount Pictures

Wear a bra before, during, AND after sex.

Wear a bra before, during, AND after sex.

No one likes wearing a bra during the work day when you “HAVE” to wear one, so why would they choose to wear one during intercourse??? #FreeTheNipple

Universal Pictures

And, if they do remove their bra, there is always a magical sheet that covers their boobs, while the dude’s chest is fully exposed?

And, if they do remove their bra, there is always a magical sheet that covers their boobs, while the dude's chest is fully exposed?

Again with the nipple discrimination. FREE. THE. NIP.

Screen Gems

Then that same bed sheet magically becomes the perfect dress while they walk away from bed.

Then that same bed sheet magically becomes the perfect dress while they walk away from bed.

Because, god forbid, we walk around naked.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Have an orgasm “by accident” in a restaurant/park/somewhere in public where she just “doesn’t have control over it.”

Have an orgasm “by accident” in a restaurant/park/somewhere in public where she just “doesn't have control over it.”

Why is it ~so funny~ to laugh at a woman having an orgasm in a place she didn’t intend to? Sounds like an awkward AF nightmare to me.

20th Century Fox

Never pee right after sex to help avoid a UTI.

Never pee right after sex to help avoid a UTI.

Peeing after sex helps cleanse your urethra from harmful bacteria post-intercourse…which, I don’t know, seems a little more important than an existential conversation?

20th Century Fox

Have perfect shower sex where no one awkwardly slips…

Have perfect shower sex where no one awkwardly slips…

Anyone who’s actually tried having shower sex knows that it’s QUITE awkward.

Universal Pictures

…or bangs their elbow into the shower door/wall/etc.

...or bangs their elbow into the shower door/wall/etc.

Showers are small and slippery, which are two descriptive terms that don’t belong in sex talk, TBH.

Columbia Pictures

Stand there like mannequins and, in just one hand motion, their dress/slip/nightgown DROPS to the floor.

Stand there like mannequins and, in just one hand motion, their dress/slip/nightgown DROPS to the floor.

It doesn’t count unless you get your hair caught in your clothes while trying to take them off, or you somehow accidentally strangle yourself in your own undergarments.

Paramount Pictures

Wear the other person’s shit in the morning, which always conveniently fits perfectly.

Wear the other person's shit in the morning, which always conveniently fits perfectly.

In reality, not everyone has the same shape/size body, so shouldn’t these things look more like they WEREN’T tailor-made for them?

Disney

And/or always wear a man’s button-down dress shirt.

And/or always wear a man's button-down dress shirt.

Does every man just have a button-down shirt on his floor for this exact situation? Didn’t you JUST wear that all day at your non-descriptive office job?

Paramount Pictures

Do a sexy, highly choreographed, striptease.

Do a sexy, highly choreographed, striptease.

Sexy stripteases can be fun, but not everyone is that graceful or talented. Also, why is it always the lady stripping for their partner?!

20th Century Fox

Orgasm in slow motion, looking more like they’re in a shampoo commercial.

Orgasm in slow motion, looking more like they're in a shampoo commercial.

The better the orgasm, the less cute you look, these are just the facts. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.

Warner Bros.

Have their legs WAY UP in the air, like a flying “V.”

Have their legs WAY UP in the air, like a flying “V.”

Are all women low-key gymnasts? I think not.

MGM

And, finally, they never make one embarrassing sound. No queefing, no farting, no hilarious slapping noises. NOTHING.

And, finally, they never make one embarrassing sound. No queefing, no farting, no hilarious slapping noises. NOTHING.

In reality, sex is PRETTY noisy and, yeah, sometimes those noises aren’t expected, but who cares?! It happens.

NBC

      



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